Kicked: A Bad Boy Sports Romance Read online

  “Possibly for the weekend, possibly for forever,” Addi confirmed, still looming over my bed looking serious. “He and Yuu are thinking of moving back here. Not sure what it is about this town that gets everybody's panties in a wad,” she whispered under her breath and then paused, caramel-brown eyes narrowing on me. At least she knew what got my panties in a wad.

  I looked down at my bedspread and waited while Addi took a deep breath. Whatever she said next was going to hurt, I could tell. There was a certain set to her lips, a tightness in the muscles of her face, that forewarned me of the impending disaster. It was the same face she'd had the day she'd told me her parents had decided to move to San Diego.

  “They're going to meet us here, so we can all walk together … ” Her voice trailed off. Bad sign. Addison sat down heavy on the edge of my bed and started fingering the black fringe that hung from the dress she'd given me. “I'm worried about you, you know?”

  “I know,” I said, looking at the dress and not at her.

  Addi reached out and lifted my chin with her fingers.

  “I want you to be happy.”

  “I know.” I felt tears sting my eyes again. I just could not for the life of me understand why Flor had stopped our conversation short, why he couldn't just let me get out what I needed to get out. I'd told Addi the story at least three times, per her own request, but neither of us had been able to figure it out. Maybe Theo and his unique knowledge of men could help? He both was one and dated them. That had to count for something, right? Though I had the sneaking suspicion that there were very few – if any – people alive on the planet that could decode Florian Harper Riley and his secrets. “I wanted to get these feelings off my chest.” I touched my fingers to the skin at the base of my throat. “They're suffocating me, Addi.”

  She dropped her hands to her lap and nodded.

  “I know, and that's why I'm here, to be your oxygen tank and to fill your head with smart ideas and logical thoughts. Florian is a fucking dick, always has been, and always will be. You don't owe him shit and you don't need him. Forget about his skanky ass and let's go to a freaking rock concert. It might be a shitty local band that nobody's ever heard of, but you can't set foot outside in downtown Eugene and not see something worth seeing.”

  “Or unseeing,” I added and she grinned, patting the dress enthusiastically.

  “That's the spirit!” Addi stood up and started backing towards the door, holding her phone up for emphasis as she added, “and hurry up. They'll be here any minute.”

  I saluted Addi and she winked at me, disappearing out the door and down the hallway. I looked at the dress and examined the way-too-tall-for-me stiletto heels in the box before deciding to go with something of my own. Addi could take back the stuff and get herself some new shoes. Besides, Addison might be confident enough to dress up for the every day – even something as small as a trip to the grocery store – but I'd rather blend in with the crowd, at least for tonight.

  I dressed in a plain purple tank, a pair of skinny jeans, and some black boots. I even took the time to put matching silver rings in my nose and bellybutton and make sure my tank rode up enough to show off my tattoo. It might be Flor's work, but it was still beautiful.

  I glanced briefly over at my phone and wondered what he was up to right now, if he'd thought about me even once since that day, and then decided I didn't care. I couldn't keep caring or it would kill me. I'd given it a go, and I'd gotten my answer. Besides, if I kept brooding like this, not only would Addison be able to tell, but so would Theo, and if my memories served me right, he had a sharp tongue and a no-nonsense attitude. So, I put on my big girl panties and took a deep breath.

  As Theo MacFabulous might say, it's time to party, baby.

  The WOW Hall (Woodmen of the World Hall would be the official name, but I was probably one of a handful of people that actually knew or cared) was located in downtown Eugene on West 8th Avenue. It was a squat, little white building that looked a lot like a church (and had, in fact, actually once been one as well). The line tonight was out the door, quite literally, and stretched down the sidewalk in a flurry of activity, the breath of the concert goers puffing in the air like clouds, mixing with the cigarette smoke and the slightest whiff of pot. A handful of drunks milled around as well, asking for change, as much a part of the local scenery as the building itself. Some people told them to fuck off; I usually gave in and handed out a few dollar bills. Hey, most of them had dogs and that crap worked on me.

  I shuffled my feet and leaned into Max's warmth, trying to enjoy myself even though this wasn't my usual scene. Theo and his boyfriend, Yuu Harada, a skinny Japanese boy in red pants and a loose black tank top, were watching me from behind Addi and Patrick (who were currently in the middle of a very intense discussion about feral cats – don't ask), and I was ashamed to admit that it felt like they both could see right through me. Or maybe I really was just that transparent? Trying not to think about Flor only made me think about him more often. I had tried to make sense of my feelings once and for all, lay it all out on the table and let the shame and the secrets dissipate, but he hadn't let me. Somehow, someway, he'd known what I was going to say and he'd shut me down. That was the only explanation.

  I shook my head and shuffled my feet again, looking up at Max and his dark brown hair, the tattooed zombie hands that encircled his neck, and his semi-permanent smile. He never really seemed to get upset or angry, almost like the polar opposite of Flor. Max was good looking, available, and currently, he was mine. I should be happy about that.

  “You okay there, Miss Abigail?” Theo asked me, tilting his head to the side and smiling like he knew something I didn't (which, who am I kidding, he probably did). He was wearing a black band T-shirt, combat boots, and a skirt. Although he wasn't technically dressed in drag, he still had on a dash of eyeliner and a smidge of lip gloss which, of course, reminded me of Flor. Not that Flor wore lip gloss, but in high school he used to wear eyeliner. He didn't anymore, but I guess I just had a one track mind.

  “Fine,” I lied as Max glanced down at me, wrinkling his brow a bit like he hadn't even realized something was wrong. Good. And let's keep it that way. Yuu mumbled something under his breath in Japanese and Theo chuckled. Even three years of straight A's in that class didn't help me translate. I figured it was something dirty and tried to steer the conversation towards the concert, before it got related back to Florian. Theo (and most likely Yuu) might know about what happened with Flor, but I didn't want Max to find out. Wouldn't that be fun? “So are these guys worth the ticket price?” I asked, trying to make a joke. For twelve bucks, there really wasn't much room to complain about anything.

  Theo and Yuu exchanged a look, obviously in regards to me and my blatant change of subject, but at least they took the bait.

  “Addi didn't play you any of their songs? They're all screechy and full of angst. I think in your current state, you'd absolutely lap it up,” Theo said with a naughty smirk. From what I could recall of our time in elementary school together, that look hadn't changed much over the years. Back then, of course, it had more to do with putting glue in Tyler Caprico's sandwich than it did with teasing me. Still, at least he winked at me when he said it, batting his lids with a false set of lashes. It made it almost worth it.

  I shook my head at Theo.

  “Nope. I don't think I've even heard a single one of their songs.” I smiled. “I came here on faith.” Max snorted and fumbled around for a cigarette in his pocket, racketing up his friendly smile into a grin. God, he was so oblivious, but I kind of loved him for it. Just not in the same way I loved Flor. Bleh.

  “Oh man, Abi. You're going to hate this. This isn't the light jazz/Billie Holiday type stuff you like to listen to. This is like, demon squalling, or something like that. Tons of screaming, some guitars, a drum, and bass. That's pretty much it.”

  “Oh stop it, this is art,” Yuu said, giving Max a look with a raised brow. “It's going to blow your mind and break your spi
rit, and then it's going to put you back together again.” He and his boyfriend exchanged a look and a kiss that made me flush and turn away. It was so … passionate (and I couldn't deal with passionate right now), but it'd be awfully nice if Yuu's words actually came true, if music really was or could be that powerful. I felt like my mind and my spirit – but most especially my heart – were fractured but still intact. If something could break them into pieces, let me start all over again, I'd face hell or high water to get my hands on that clean slate.

  But a little concert at the WOW Hall? Not likely to sufficiently power a spiritual makeover.

  I resumed my contemplative torture while the line moved forward and, after what seemed like forever, emptied us into the building. The way to the stage was a bit roundabout and, as usual, the fact that the show was all ages was already starting to reveal its colors. High schoolers abounded, screaming and bobbing up and down despite the fact that the performance hadn't even started yet. At least it was better than the homeless guys outside. Ah, downtown Eugene in all its glory.

  “Hey, babe, I'm going down to the bar real quick,” Max said, nodding his chin at the steep steps leading down into a room filled with white Christmas lights and bowls of stale pretzels, if Florian's accounts were to be at all believed. My heart dropped, but I smiled anyway, nodding and letting him press a quick kiss on my lips before he disappeared. When I most wanted Max by my side, he had to slip away for a beer. Figures.

  I let my gaze travel around the room briefly, searching for familiar faces. Or more specifically, one familiar face. It wasn't entirely impossible that I'd see Flor here. Granted, I was pretty sure he'd moved onto greener pastures, but this had used to be one of his stomping grounds. I'd once caught him sneaking in the living room window with a girl from a band he'd come to see. I didn't stick around to find out their agenda, but I can only assume he slept with her.

  Crap.

  Not the train of thought I needed to ride right now. I glanced over and caught Theo and Yuu disappearing into the crowd while Addi eyed me suspiciously. Patrick, at least, looked almost as uncomfortable as I was, face pale and sweaty. We made eye contact briefly and I smiled. He might be dorky and quiet and covered in freckles, but I liked this guy. Why couldn't I have fallen in love with a dude who wore anime T-shirts and read young adult novels about aliens?

  “Hey there,” Addi said, bumping me with her shoulder and raising an eyebrow at the kids who, not all that long ago, had been us. Or me, actually, since Addi had just moved back. I'd come here with my high school friends, most of whom I hadn't seen or heard from since graduation. Instead of feeling immersed in the crowd, I became suddenly lonely. “Told ya it'd be fun.” Addi's voice was strained, and I watched as she switched her worried gaze from me to Patrick. As Florian's grandma might say, we were just a couple of 'wet blankets'. Whatever that really means.

  “I know,” I said, forcing a smile onto my face again. “I'm hopeless.” I leaned in and kissed Addi on the cheek. “But I'm fine, really. I'm having a great time.” She gave me another skeptical look and then, fortunately, decided to let the subject drop. I heaved a sigh of relief and crossed my arms over my chest, wishing I'd done something with my hair. It was damp, fresh from a wash, and curling down my back, teasing the bare skin above my tank top. All around me, the crowd rippled with color – pink hair teased into Mohawks, black and blonde striped braids, and the occasional chignon or French twist. Even though there seemed to be a divisive line between the under eighteen and the over, I felt like the only one out of place, stuck between here and there. I reached a hand up and twirled a finger in my curls. Obviously, I was overanalyzing my hairdo, but that didn't mean the feelings that went with it weren't genuine.

  I followed along behind Patrick and Addi, weaving through the crowd towards the bleachers that lined either side of the room, like something from a high school gym. They were filled to bursting with laughing, cheering, screaming patrons, but whatever energy was infecting them, it hadn't found me yet. I cursed Max silently inside my head for going to the bar, leaving me up here as the fifth wheel. He was a nice guy, but sometimes he made the most inconsiderate decisions, like this one time he invited me to a romantic dinner and then bailed halfway through because he'd forgotten a late night appointment with a client.

  I sighed.

  “Wait for this,” Theo was telling Addi, Yuu hanging on his arm and giving me an appraising once-over that ended with him squinting at my tattoo. I pulled my shirt down to cover it and Yuu grinned, making me wonder exactly how much Addi had told the two of them. Just the overview of the Flor and me fiasco? Probably the whole kit and caboodle, that bitch. “Trust me, it's going to fuck you up hard.”

  Theo gestured over Addi's shoulder at me, beckoning my forward. I sidled up beside the group and crossed my arms over my chest, wondering exactly how long Max was going to be – if he came back at all.

  “You, Abigail, look like you could really use being fucked.”

  I blushed and Theo laughed, patting me on the shoulder and giving my arm a squeeze.

  “Don't look so scared, sweetie. I meant that metaphorically speaking. Just, like, open your heart or whatever new age shit you want to believe in. Let the music become you.” He laughed and tossed me another wink. “Enjoy the show and forget about your brother. Sounds like a royal dick to me.”

  “Stepbrother,” I corrected automatically and both Theo and Yuu laughed at me again. Patrick, at least, had the decency to look mortified for me. “And yes, he is a royal dick. But I'm not thinking about him.” Lie.

  “No worries,” Yuu said as the lights dimmed and the crowd began to quiet. “If I had a stepbrother that looked like that, I'd probably be obsessed, too.”

  I rolled my eyes and decided to let the comment go. After all, there was some truth to that. But I'd have loved Flor no matter what he looked like. The fact that he's attractive is only part of the problem – a very vexing part, but still only a fraction.

  I shook my head to clear it, but my mind felt slippery, like staying on one subject for too long was impossible. I nibbled at my lower lip and tried to concentrate on the stage, but my feelings and thoughts were still all over the place. And where the hell is Max? I found myself looking around for him in his red T-shirt and tight jeans, but he was nowhere to be seen. A quick glance at my phone showed no messages, and when I texted him to tell him the show was starting, he replied that he was still in the bar and would be up soon. Of course he was. I stuffed the phone back in my pocket and scooted around Addi and Patrick for a better view.

  I could see shadows moving across the small stage, getting into place for the show.

  “Ladies and gentleman of Eugene, Oregon,” the voice whispered, skittering across the back of my neck like a heated breath. The crowd went completely silent, but I wouldn't say the room was quiet. Oh, no, it was like the silence itself was a sound, one so loud that it was drowning out even my erratic thoughts. I felt my own breath hitch and uncrossed my arms, leaning up on tiptoe to get a better look. Fingers strummed across a guitar and the lights flickered back into place, revealing a grinning face onstage, lips poised against the microphone. “I want to hear you make some NOISE!” the man growled, clutching the mic with his fingers and pulling it from the stand.

  The crowd responded like a living creature, flowing around me like water, pushing me forward with the current and crushing me between sweaty, gyrating bodies while screams and shouts punctuated the silence and bled it across all our shoulders, coating us with this … energy that finally, finally managed to find some sort of hold in me.

  I tried to take some of Theo's advice and found myself starting to move with the crowd, cheering and jumping even though I had no idea what the song was about, what the growling screams coming from the stage meant. The bass shook the building, crawling through the wood floor and into my toes, making its way into my bloodstream until I was sweating and screaming almost as much as the man onstage. My breath was crushed from my lungs by the press o
f people behind me and the resistance of those in front as slowly, oh so slowly, we melded even closer together, pushing towards the stage like flowers reaching towards the sun.

  “A taste of forbidden love, like honey on the back of my tongue,” the lead singer oozed, his voice bright and sharp, like the gleam of light off the end of a blade, right before it imbeds itself into your back. From the sultry tones of his singing to the wild rhythm of his growls, I could tell this guy was bad news, but in the best possible way. Like Flor. I ignored that thought, let more screaming vocals wash over me, tasted the bite of the guitars, the clamoring frenzy of the drums.

  Theo was right: the songs really were angry. But he was also right in that I needed that right now. I jumped and screamed and kicked and spun, letting my frustration with my stepbrother leak out into the crowd. If Flor wouldn't let me confess to get the feelings off my chest, then I'd just have to find another outlet.

  I got so caught up, in fact, that by the time the set was over, my head was spinning and my heart was pounding a mile a minute. Addi, Patrick, Theo, and Yuu had all disappeared in the frenzy and Max was still nowhere to be seen, so I moved towards the steps to the bar, hoping to catch a glimpse of him coming up. I couldn't get down as the bouncer was carding people on their way by and I'd long since ditched my fake IDs (not that they'd often worked anyway).

  I pursed my lips for a second, but then shook the feelings of irritation away. The next set was starting and I was too pumped up too care. If Max would rather be down there than up here with me, so be it.