Allison Shatters the Looking-Glass: A Dark Reverse Harem Romance (Harem of Hearts Book 3) Read online

  I redirect my focus to him, snatching that motherfucker up in one of my giant fists and squeezing as hard as I can. It's disturbing, to say the least, feeling a man's body burst in my hand like a grape.

  Blood and bits spatter everywhere, a meaty sack falling to the pavement as I release my grip. I almost puke, but then, at this height, it would drown the entire neighborhood.

  This is the most surreal shit I've ever done! I think as my mind scrambles to get away from the fallout of my violent act. I cannot think about it, or I will fall apart. And right now, I can't afford to do that.

  I start to turn back to the Walrus when I notice that the Carpenter's bits … are sliding back together, the flesh and blood slurping into his meat sack until he's standing right in front of me again, completely and utterly unharmed.

  "What the …?" I curse, and the words echo around the neighborhood as the next cop car screams into view. And then another, and another, and another. Before I can even remotely figure out how to handle this problem, the men in blue are out and pointing their weapons at the Walrus.

  They fire off dozens of shots that stick in the monster's blubber and do … absolutely nothing at all.

  What. A. Clusterfuck.

  A sharp pain digs into my ankle, and I scream, glancing down to see the Anti-Alice with her scythe buried in the fabric of my jeans and the flesh underneath. At first, it's just a pinprick, and I figure I'll grab her and squash her next. But then, I feel this horrible suction, like there's a void just outside of my wound, eating up every ounce of warmth I have inside of me.

  Tee lands on my shoulder, startling me out of my shock.

  "She's sucking all your magic out! Just like you need to hit her with the Vorpal Blade and hold it, so she has to do the same to you with her weapon!" I just stand there, my heart pounding, darkness creeping into my vision. And then I feel another sharp pain in my leg, glancing down to see that Chesh has just crawled several feet over to bite me.

  The warm seep of blood from my left ankle snaps me out of it completely, and I kick the Anti-Alice away, dislodging her scythe in the process. She lands in the bushes near my parents' ruined house, but she doesn't stay down for long.

  "Tee, what do I do?" I ask as he flaps his wings and moves over to my other shoulder, pointing down at the car-sized Vorpal Blade in my hand.

  "Hit her with that," he growls, and I get this aha moment going on.

  Giant blade … absorbs more magic than small blade?

  Riiiiight?

  I drop down to my knees, shaking the street, and I swing the Vorpal Blade in the Anti-Alice's direction. Her pink ribbon flutters from the breeze of my movement, and her midsection severs right in half.

  Oh my god, more blood.

  Blood, blood, blood—it's everywhere.

  The Anti-Alice stands stone-still for a split-second, and then falls apart, collapsing to the ground in pieces. And yet, she is most definitely not dead. Not by a long shot.

  The Walrus barrels into my knees, knocking me back as he's chased by a swarm of bats. As I stumble, he moves over to the Anti-Alice, picking up both halves of her in his mouth before he takes off with the Carpenter clinging to his side.

  The Mocking Turtle is on the Walrus’ back, riding him like a goddamn blubbery dragon.

  They smash through the fence between our house and the next one over, heading for the empty field and the forest.

  "I can't find the Looking-Glass!" Dee wails, landing on my other shoulder. "The Gryphon is fucking gone! They must have Topside allies."

  "Topside allies?!" I ask, but then I feel this sickening lurch inside of me, and I realize that I'm swaying a little, like I'm all of two seconds from passing out. Crap. I lift the massive lump of mushroom meat to my lips and take a bite, stumbling as my stomach lurches, and I start to feel like I’m falling.

  The twins take off from my shoulders before my body’s too small to stand on, but the sudden rush of the ground coming at me, the wound on my leg, and the magic that's been sucked out of me … promptly sends me falling over my feet into a face-plant.

  The last thing I see of the battle is the awful gray of cracked cement.

  My dreams are so beyond fucked, they make Underland look like Wonderland. I thrash and sweat, tangling myself up so badly in the sheets that when I do wake, I'm convinced I've been kidnapped by the Walrus and the Carpenter, that they're holding me down like Liam and his friends, that—

  "Allison," Chesh whispers, sitting by me in cat form. He's got Dinah next to him, staring at him like he's the second coming of Christ. I jerk upright, fighting tooth and nail to get the sheets off of me, when the door opens and my dad walks in.

  "You passed out," he says, brow knitted with worry as he shoos the cats out of his way and sits on the edge of the bed. "Here, I brought you some of Mom's famous chicken noodle soup."

  "Mom made this?' I ask, which is a stupid question because, of course she didn't. She's in prison. Motherfucking, cocksucking prison. "I mean, you used Mom's recipe?"

  Dad nods as I take the tray, all the while trying to figure out how he's so damn calm when our house is destroyed, he saw his dead daughter reincarnated as a monster, and his other daughter just reappeared after two weeks of radio silence.

  "The police are here; they want to talk to you," he says softly, looking down at his lap, his glasses sliding to the tip of his nose.

  Of course the police want to talk to me: the entire street looks like a war zone.

  "How's Edith?" I manage to choke out, taking a spoonful of the yellow broth and letting it dribble back into the bowl. I can't even look at my father right now, and I have no idea how I'm going to face my sister. She was so scared, she pissed herself. How do I apologize for bringing all of that back with me?

  "Angry, happy, confused." Dad looks away from me, toward a poster I have on my wall. It's from the Alice's Adventures in Wonderland exhibit at the local museum, and it features one of John Tenniel's illustrations.

  Heh.

  Bet that one doesn't open into a dark hallway with torches, or lead into a heart-shaped bedroom where a gorgeous Duke …

  The door flies open, and there he is: the Savage Duke, staring down at me with gold eyes. His blonde-gold hair hangs over his brow, but his horns, and his tail, they're gone.

  "Allison Liddell," North says in that booming voice of his, commanding everyone in the room to stop and look at him.

  Pretty sure my dad leaps right out of his skin.

  "I said all cops downstairs!" Henry barks, standing up off the bed and puffing his chest out. The Duke's is already inflated, so it's almost, sort of, kind of funny to see them having a stand-off in my bedroom door.

  "I, good sir, am not—" North starts, as I push the chicken noodle soup aside, and fling myself out of bed, inserting myself between the two warring men.

  "I'm sure this detective just wants a statement," I start, pushing North back and into the hallway before taking him by the hand and dragging him toward Mom's old office. I'm about to shove him in and lock the door when I look down the stairs.

  And see the fucking King.

  He's wearing a suit and gloves, but his hair is as red as blood, and his frown is sharp enough to cut cheese.

  "What …" I start, because I can very clearly see the living room, and nothing's been destroyed. Everything is as it was when I first tumbled out of the Looking-Glass. "No way, no fucking way," I murmur, stumbling down the first few steps and then just staring at the unblemished perfection of the house.

  The front wall is still there, the window is whole, the couch is clean and white.

  The only 'off' thing I notice is a lamp that seems to be glued underneath the side table, rather than sitting on top of it. Oh, and there's the breakfast table from the front nook, resting on the ceiling and fully set for tea with place settings, napkins, even a teapot.

  I sway a bit, but the Duke catches me by the elbow, and I realize then that I'm probably just having another dream. I mean, how else do you explain th
e sudden appearance of the Duke and the King? The reincarnation of the living room? The lack of SWAT members in my house?

  "Hello, Sonny," the White Rabbit says, appearing from the direction of the kitchen with a stopwatch in his right hand. He presses a knob on the side and my dad, who was halfway out of my bedroom door, freezes in place.

  Like, he quite literally freezes, and I find myself looking at a statue version of the man named Henry George Liddell.

  "What in the ever-loving fuck?" I whisper, trying to pinch myself awake.

  Doesn't work.

  All I get are tiny welts on the inside of my arm.

  "Just relax and listen: I can't hold this long without passing out myself," Rab says, his voice like shadows over ice. Beautiful, but cold, lonely. I kind of want to warm him up. I also sort of want to slap him, because … what the hell is going on here?!

  "We've repaired the damage to your house," Lar says, wingless and yet still ethereally beautiful with his blue-blonde hair and his summer sky eyes. He’s standing near the front door, and I was so perplexed by the transformation of the living room that I didn’t notice at first. Looking at him now, I can’t imagine how I missed him. He’s too beautiful, too perfect, to be looked over. "And for the moment, your sister and father don't remember what happened. But they will. No memory stays hidden forever."

  "How did you guys do this?!" I gasp, and Rab grins at me with big, white teeth, no rabbit ears in sight on the top if his head. I already find that I miss them greatly.

  "Magic," Rab says, lifting up his stopwatch. "But it won't last, and it isn't limitless. I only have so much in me before I die."

  "Die?" I ask and he grits his teeth, nodding sharply.

  "Die. Each second that I freeze time takes an hour off of my life."

  "What?!" I snap, storming down the stairs and snatching the watch from his hand. The thought of losing so much time with him is— Well, I barely like the guy, but … but it's infuriating! "Stop using it then," I growl out as my dad starts to move again, blinking abruptly at finding me suddenly standing at the bottom of the stairs with the four men I didn't think made it through the Looking-Glass.

  But I can't ask now. Later, though.

  As soon as I get my wits together enough to really pay attention, I see that Lar and Rab are both dressed in black police uniforms. The King and the Duke have suits on, like they're FBI or some shit.

  "Now, I asked for patience and respect with my daughter," Henry snarls, already in papa dragon mode. Wonder what would happen if he faced off against a real dragon? Err, sorry, jabberwock. "I can already see you guys diving in for the kill."

  "Dear Sir, if I were 'diving in for the kill', as you so eloquently put it, then you would know," the Savage Duke growls this last part out which confuses the fuck out of my father as he seems to be under the impression that the man standing in front of him is some sort of detective or something.

  "Okay, okay," I say, running up the stairs and realizing that holy fuck, my leg still hurts, and Jesus H., this is going to be a difficult day to get through. "I'm sure the nice man is just trying to do his job, right Detective North?"

  The Duke gives me this … I want to say, aggressive, carnal sort of look, and Dad's eyes widen. Pretty sure when North's beautiful lips part to say something, the first word on the tip of his tongue is mate. Okay, so maybe the first word was my, but mate was a close second.

  "Well, I find his conduct inappropriate," Dad says, grabbing me by the shoulder and pushing me aside. "And I really don't like the way he's looking at you. Now, I have no problem with the Eureka Police, but I will soon if you don't get out of my house."

  "He was just leaving anyway," I say, giving North a please, dear God, just go! sort of a look. I feel a little squeeze around my ankle and realize that the Duke has his goddamn tail out. "So, go, bye."

  I push my dad away, and wait for North to descend the steps.

  It takes him an awkward amount of time to stop staring at me before he finally goes, sliding his hand down the banister, chin raised like he's still back in Underland in his fancy-pants palace.

  He pauses at the bottom, next to Brennin Red, and then glances back at me.

  Now, all four men are staring.

  The King and his entourage.

  So where are the rest of my … I mean the guys?

  "When you get a minute," Brennin says, his voice like charcoal and smoke, "please send a messenger with an invitation for croquet."

  Ehhhh?!

  "A messenger?" Dad asks, looking completely and utterly baffled.

  "Or. I. will. call. you. on. your. cellphone," I snarl, pointing at the front door.

  "My phone doesn't work Topside," the King says, lazily waving a gloved hand in the air. He flicks his bloodred hair off of his forehead as I clench my teeth and do my best not to scream.

  "He has bad service," I tell my dad, "Sprint."

  "You had time to discuss cell service?" Dad asks, but then he looks down at me, and something just breaks inside of him.

  We are still not over my being back, not even close.

  "We left your things next to the cat," Lar says, giving me a small wave as the four of them make their way to the front door, and let themselves outside.

  I miss them already.

  I feel like I'm being left behind.

  And then a soft, furry body rubs up against my ankles, and I glance down to find Chesh leaping up against my calves. Somehow, I'm dressed in an old nightgown with no memory of changing clothes. I bet one of the guys did it; they better not have copped a feel. That's assault, you know, just in case you were unaware.

  "Allison," Dad says softly, shards of his broken heart fluttering in the air with his voice. "Just because you showed up last night, and it's now morning, that doesn't change anything. We have a lot to talk about."

  "I know," I say, feeling so guilty I can barely stand it. "But is it okay if I shower first?"

  Dad nods as Edith's door cracks open, and I see her sleepy face staring at me. She used to do that all the time when we were little, prop her door open and watch me in the living room, or on my way to the bathroom, in my room when I occasionally left my door open. I hated it back then … not so much anymore.

  "Shower?" Dad asks, staring at me in a daze. He adjusts his glasses and smooths his hands over the front of his wrinkled white button-down. I'm used to my dad looking perfect: he's a university professor, after all. But right now, with coffee stains all over his chest, his belt missing a loop, and two left shoes on his feet … I hardly recognize him. "Yeah, of course, but … leave the door cracked."

  "Dad!" I admonish, falling back into old habits. It startles him for a second, but then there's this awkward silence between us, like he doesn't even know me. "I'll just shower, and get dressed, and …"

  "Aren't we going to see Mom today?" Edith asks, pushing her door open the rest of the way. She's already caked in makeup, her hair curled, dressed in a white undershirt and short-shorts.

  "We'll go see Mom," Dad says, just staring at me as I retreat back into my room and close the door behind me. I put my ear against the wood and listen for a minute to see if Edy and Dad are still out there, but it seems quiet enough.

  Chesh is sitting on my bed next to Dinah. She won't stop rubbing her head against him, which I find adorable but which I'm pretty sure he does not. I pat him on the head and then pause next to my desk to start up my iPod.

  White Rabbit by Egypt Central starts up, and I raise an eyebrow. That's … a strangely appropriate song.

  "Okay, talk to me," I say, sitting down on the edge of the bed next to the two cats. I pull Dinah into my lap, stroking my fingers down the sleek, black fur of her back. Chesh is looking at me like he wishes I'd stroke him instead.

  Just … maybe not his back.

  "Talk to you?" he purrs, standing up and stretching. I fully expect him to stay in kitty form because my dad or sister could quite easily walk in at any moment, but … why should I expect sensibleness from these U
nderland men anyway? "I'm supposing you want to know where the others have gone?"

  He shifts into his human form, still dressed in that suit I last saw him in during the Ball of Broken Hearts and Stolen Tarts. Makes me wonder where the Duke and the Hatter got their suits from.

  Chesh throws his arms around my neck, and nuzzles into my throat, making my heart pitter-patter as I feel his warmth press against my back.

  "I was so worried when you left with the King," he murmurs, nibbling my earlobe. It feels so damn good, that it's almost physically painful to pull him off. "As soon as you did, there was a commotion. The White Knight and the Knave got into a bit of a tussle."

  "Really?" I ask, imagining Chevalier going to toe-to-toe with Ines and her two creepy husbands.

  "And then someone found dead guards in the kitchen, yada yada." Chesh yawns, letting go of me, so he can arch his back and scratch his nails on my bedspread. Dinah lets out a tiny mewl, and bats at him, but he hisses at her and she backs off. "It was simply a clusterfuck-fuckity-fuck-fuck-fuck."

  "Very descriptive," I say, realizing that dried blood has flaked off of Chesh's arm and onto my own. Which, of course, reminds me that when I last saw the Cheshire Cat, he was bleeding to death. "How are you still alive?" I ask, spinning around to face him.

  He takes my face between clawed fingers and then leans in toward my lips.

  "Perhaps bringing the vampire mercenary into the Kingdom of Hearts was not the worst idea in the world," he purrs, licking my bottom lip, his black and white striped tail swaying lazily behind him.

  One of Chesh's kitty ears quirks in the direction of my door, and then he's rolling away from me and onto the carpet next to my bed.

  Edith pops in a moment later and gives me a look.

  "Who were you talking to?" she asks, slipping inside and closing it behind her. A split-second later, Chesh in kitty form hops up onto my bed and stretches. Edy gives him a weird look.

  "Where'd this cat come from anyway? I tried to put it outside, but it bit me and then sprayed my bathrobe."